Self esteem is a person’s thoughts, feelings, and views of himself.
Self esteem is a person’s thoughts, feelings, and views of himself. The health of self-esteem is determined by how much you can believe in yourself, love yourself, appreciate yourself, and respect yourself.
Because of the importance of self-esteem, we must have healthy self-esteem. The health of self-esteem greatly influences achievement, our relationships with others, and self-satisfaction.
If our self-esteem is not healthy, it can make us depressed, our self-potential cannot develop, and we can even fall into unhealthy relationships.
Self-esteem that is too high also causes us to be unable to recognize mistakes and learn from mistakes. In fact, this can cause narcissistic symptoms and megalomania.
Characteristics of Self Esteem
The characteristics of self-esteem are divided into 2, namely the characteristics of healthy self-esteem and low self-esteem.
Characteristics of Healthy Self Esteem
1) Can refuse other people’s requests if you don’t feel like doing it.
2) Don’t always think about negative experiences in the past.
3) Can express self-needs.
4) Accept your own strengths and weaknesses.
5) Have high self-confidence.
6) Have a positive outlook on life.
7) Respect yourself.
8) Love yourself.
Characteristics of Low Self Esteem
1) Believing that others are better than oneself.
2) Always fixated on your own weaknesses.
3) Fear of failure in trying something new.
4) It’s hard to accept compliments from others.
5) Forget about yourself and always put others first.
6) It’s hard to refuse other people’s requests if you don’t really want to do it,
7) Not believing in yourself.
8) Always compare the quality of yourself with others.
Aspects in Self Esteem
Here are four aspects of self-esteem. Coopersmith (1967) explains that self-esteem has several aspects including strength, significance, benevolence, and ability.
Strength means being able to show that we can control our own behavior. This strength will be positively recognized by others based on the quality of our behavior.
The more we have good behavior, the more people will judge and admit that we have good qualities in front of many people.
Significance has the meaning of caring, affection, expression, and concern for the acceptance and popularity of the environment that someone receives from other people. If other people accept us, it is usually marked by the harmonious relationship that exists, then the environment will also like us.
Therefore, a lot to socialize with other people. Show your significance by their side. Show that you are a person who has positive traits so they can recognize you as a positive person.
Virtue means that each individual shows obedience following moral and ethical boundaries, where each individual stays away from things that are considered out of bounds.
If all applicable ethics and morals have been followed, the individual is declared to have a positive attitude and has developed positive self-esteem in himself.
When you are known as a person who is devout in your morals, ethics, and beliefs, people around you will also believe that you have good qualities.
Ability means it can show how you can achieve your goals, but it all depends on the variation of several ages. Self-esteem in adolescents increases if they know what their tasks are to achieve their goals. Researchers found that self-esteem in adolescents will increase when they are able to face a problem.
With your success in dealing with problems, it means that you have started to develop in terms of your ability to think and adapt to the environment. You will find a way out and put the broken things back together by combining the two.
Factors Affecting Self Esteem
The following are factors that can influence the increase in self-esteem.
- Opinions of Others
These other people’s opinions are like the opinions of friends, family, neighbors and others. Opinions from other people can affect your self-esteem. Usually other people’s opinions of us have bad opinions and can reduce our self-confidence.
They will always focus on our weaknesses, this will cause a decrease in our self-esteem. Not only the opinions of people close to us, this opinion can also come from netizen comments from social media.
With this, you have to be smart to cover your ears tightly. Ignore all reproaches and insults from others. Just listen to some constructive criticism so you can evaluate yourself to be even better.
You also have to be able to think positively and fill your mind with good prejudices.
- Mind Yourself
Not only the influence of other people, but yourself can also affect the self-esteem you have. The words you spoke to yourself are imprinted on our minds, and we will continue to think about them as if they were true.
For example, when you are under a lot of stress, don’t say “I can’t do this, I will fail”. This will become a suggestion, you will be increasingly convinced that you will fail.
If you are stressed and experiencing a burden on your mind, you should put out good words, words that motivate yourself which will ultimately increase your self-esteem.
- Self Skills
Self esteem can be increased by honing your skills. The more skills you have, the higher your self-esteem will be. Don’t beat yourself up and compare yourself to others when you fail to hone your skills. Dig your potential as deep as possible.
Train yourself for new skills like painting, playing music, sports. This can make you realize that you can do many things. This will make you proud of yourself for the achievements achieved.
But don’t push yourself too much if you are tired or have a lot of thoughts, because that will lower your self-esteem. Calm yourself and your mind for a while to build a positive atmosphere. If you have, continue to increase your skills.
- Childhood Parenting
One way to increase self-esteem is from parenting when we were small. Research shows that if you are raised in an authoritarian way, you will have lower self-esteem due to trauma.
When he grows up he will feel insecure, always feel like a failure, and compare himself to others. Parenting when we were small is important. Parents should understand how to shape their child’s self-esteem as early as possible so that when they grow up they have high self-esteem.
Therefore, raise children in a positive way. Educate children with compassion, empathy, and support. Give them opportunities, don’t forbid children a lot, so they will be confident later. Thus, children can have good self-esteem until they grow up.
- Owned Limitations
We cannot deny that limitations can be a barrier in doing activities. Not to mention the opinions of other people about our weaknesses that we often hear can also make our self-esteem go down.
Lack of confidence will arise because we have limitations. You will think that you can’t do things that other people can do. You will continue to feel like a failure because of limitations.
Therefore, get rid of the thought that you feel like a failure because you have a limitation. Do not make limitations as a barrier for you to have more achievements. Prove to the world that you can also do what others can do.
With enthusiasm and self-confidence, of course, the self-esteem that you have will rise again. Confidence is important. Stop hearing bad words from other people. Focus on yourself and make a lot of achievements.
How to Increase Self Esteem
Here are some ways to increase your self-esteem.
- Know Yourself
You are the only person who really knows yourself. Get to know yourself deeper, find out your potential, and also find out your weaknesses. Put all your energy and mind into learning new things.
- Stop Comparing Yourself
If you feel something is wrong or lacking from you, evaluate yourself without having to compare it with others. Comparing yourself to others will only make you insecure and lower your self-esteem.
Focus on yourself. Think about how you can be better. You can use other people as a reference and motivation, but don’t compare them because it only makes you feel weak.
If you can focus on yourself, of course you will be more confident and have the thought that you can be better than you are now. Thus, your self-esteem will increase in line with your development.
- Have Life Purpose
Everyone must have different life goals. Having a purpose in life means having a plan as well. With that, you will be passionate about achieving your life goals and plans that you design.
Enthusiasm and confidence in yourself that make self-esteem increase. You will be proud of yourself when everything has been achieved. Therefore, set your goals. Reach out to the potential that is in you.
- Establish Positive Relationships
Find friends who can motivate and appreciate you. Avoid being friends with toxic people. Don’t let yourself fall into bad friendships, it will make you easily insecure, and easy to hear bad words from other people against you. That will result in a decrease in self-esteem.
Therefore, friends who have positive traits will also have a positive impact on you. They will always provide encouragement and other supportive things. So you will grow even better. This can increase your self-esteem.
- Accept Your Self
Having a deficiency in yourself is a very natural thing. Every deficiency, of course, will have another advantage in itself. Accept it gracefully. Learn other things, continue to explore your potential so you can cover your weaknesses with your strengths.
Look for motivation in your life, always chase your goals. Give the best for yourself. If you are enthusiastic and confident, then your self-esteem will increase. Of course you will be more advanced and successful.
Based on existing research, 85% of people experience depression, trauma, stress, and this itself can happen to anyone. Therefore, it is very important to be able to accept ourselves and manage the emotions we have. Learn how through the book Understanding and Managing Emotions.
- Have a positive nature
Having positive traits in yourself is a must. Because as the saying goes “what you sow, so shall we reap”. This means that by having a positive self it will produce positive ones as well.
Always motivate yourself with good things. This will increase your enthusiasm for activities. Being a person who has positive traits will certainly have positive relationships too.
Therefore, always have a positive attitude. Keep it in your mind that there is always goodness that will turn around if we do good out there. Having a peaceful and positive soul will certainly increase your self-esteem.